Weak
by Lucifer mayhem
Summary: [one shotsongfic] Hatori is reminded of his past and things he wishes he could for get. Deathfic. R&R. whee.


**Disclaim**er: I Do not own Souma Hatori if I did I'd make him loosen up a little bit Hatori: -snort-, or any of the lyrics used.

**Lyrics credit**: "**Somewhat damaged**" main song and "**the day the world went away**" end song By nine inch nails.

**A/n:** this was written back in November of '04 due to utter boredom and wanting to make my ha'ri muse pissed. :B and yes I know it does suck and its short but hell XD I was bored thank you. But ever wonder if some one so calm and closed off would if they had a gun :0 -flee- DON'T KILL ME PLEASE.

**Weak  
**

--------X--------

_So impressed with all you do  
tried so hard to be like you  
flew too high and burnt the wing  
lost my faith in everything_

The rain drove him insane. That broken record sound, that damn pit-pit-pitt.. Bouncing off the sides of his skull as if there was nothing in there. If he could just _freeze_ time he would be happy.. He'd feel almost stronger again; able to go back to what he had done before. But he didn't hate the rain.. No he enjoyed it... maybe it was the stress from today that pushed him over the edge. The rain was some thing he watched for hours on end, and at times sitting on the back porch, hand stretched out to gather the cold droplets that fell in to his cupped palm..Almost like the tears he never could shed.

_Lick around divine debris  
taste the wealth of hate in me  
shedding skin succumb defeat  
this machine is obsolete_

Was it memories that made him search for the handgun he had just in case some sort of problem broke loose? Who knew, he didn't. The older man wanted his heart to truly stop beating.. So they would all see he wasn't as sane as they though, he wasn't some one to count on, he hated who he had become, hated how every one stared at him as if he was a machine. On his way to his office he stopped, staring at one thing before he bolted to the next room.

_Made the choice to go away  
drink the fountain of decay  
tear a hole exquisite red  
fuck the rest and stab it dead_

It was almost like a hurricane hit his room, he tore apart the bed, closet, any thing and every thing in a blind rage he knew he had building up and would break loose sooner or later. He felt giddy, silly almost... The feeling of mad laughter starting in his belly as he threw items on to the floor, across the room, to find what would save him from this family.. These memories.

_Broken bruised forgotten sore  
too fucked up to care anymore.._

What he was looking for was not in his room..No, he was smarter to leave it in his room. Again he bolted, words unknown forming in his mind as if he knew them, in to the kitchen. Dragging one of the draws out he let it fall to the ground, the loud thump and clatter of unused pens, pencils.. Other objects crammed in there, where now spilled out against the dark tile floor. He did the same to the next, letting the silverware scatter against the floor with their metallic clang grunting almost annoyed at the sound as it again bounced off his head. Still no gun.. Still nothing to take the pain away... He knew other ways to end his miserable life, pills, slitting his wrist.. Any thing and every thing.. And yet he wanted it to be quick and painless. The words that where once fuzzed and unknown formed in his mind again, one voice standing out against the rest.

**"I love you."**

_Poisoned to my rotten core  
too fucked up to care anymore_

He laughed leaning against the counter top his forehead resting in his palm as his body was racked with breathless cold laughs. Would they care he was gone? He knew a few would...one's heart would break, and he knew, oh how he knew. When his laughter died, he threw his arms against the counter top sliding most of the objects on to the floor. No one would expect him to go in to such a blind rage, but some one just pushed him over the edge.

_In the back off the side far away  
is a place where I hide where I stay  
tried to say, tried to ask I needed to all alone by myself   
where were you?_

**"You're useless.."**

**"You have no meaning in my life."**

**"Did you believe you where free of me?"**

**"I _own_ you!"**

_How could I ever think it's funny how everything that  
swore it wouldn't change is different now just like you?_

He paused for a moment. It was taped under his couch...he moved across the room stepping bare foot on spoons, pens, forks, the whole bit.. Not one thing bothered him. The rain had sped up, the noise against the roof louder then before in his now silent house. Dropping to his knees he flipped the couch on to its back ripping the silver object from the bottom, tearing the duck tape away from it. Staring at the gun in his hand he moved back in to the kitchen sitting down on one of the chairs he had not knocked over.. He sat there for a moment plotting, thinking.. and he decided it was the end. Rising the gun to his temple he stared at the wall hearing the click over the deep growl of thunder and then he pulled the trigger.

_Would always say we'll make it through  
then my head fell apart and where were you?  
How could I ever think it's funny how everything you swore would  
never change is different now like you said you and me make it  
through didn't quite fell apart where the fuck were you?_

Souma Hatori had now found his peace, by his own hands and not Akito's. he died, insane or sane no one knew why, even though tears bottled up dried on his blood stained cheeks... a lopsided smile was pressed to his cold blue lifeless lips.

--------X--------

_I'd listen to the words he'd say  
but in his voice I heard decay  
the plastic face forced to portray  
all the insides left cold and gray  
there is a place that still remains  
it eats the fear it eats the pain  
the sweetest price he'll have to pay  
the day the whole world went away_

END.


End file.
